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Our Stories
Betsy Crang
Kenney, IL
I arrived at my first Al-Anon Family Group meeting hoping 'they' would tell me what I should or should not do or say, so my alcoholic/drug addict wouldn't go back out to drink and do drugs. I sat and listened to people talk about there problems and what they did to make their situation better. I heard people tell stories that made me feel lucky my situation wasn't any worse than it was. At that first meeting, I was welcomed with open arms. I was encouraged but not pushed. I was given literature and a phone list and told I could call anyone on that list at anytime, because crisis doesn't usually happen between 9 & 5. The meetings focused on the families and friends, not the alcoholic. The entire stigma that goes with alcoholism and
substance abuse in my family was very hard to get past. I thought if I was a better mother or wife, I could make the person in my life stop drinking and drugging. I thought I was the reason that he was drinking and drugging. I was asked on several occasions, "why don't you just make him stop". I tried and of course I couldn't. I had no idea that I couldn't stop him from drinking if he wanted to drink. I learned that the only way to help him was to help myself. I had no idea 'it' was a disease. The first few meetings I just listened. I knew if I spoke I would cry and I didn't want to cry in front of anyone. I didn't know it at the time but
my pride was holding me back from my own recovery. I learned I had been affected by this disease called ALCOHOLISM. I learned I was enabling the alcoholic, that I wasn't 'helping' him. He had to pay for the consequences of his actions. I was in serious denial. What a merry-go-round ride that is! Al-Anon is a spiritual program, not a religious program.
Since my first meeting 10 years ago, I am still in Al-Anon and my alcoholic is clean and sober. I still need my program because I feel that Al-Anon is a program for life! It has given me tools that I use in everyday life, from my co-workers, strangers, families and friends. What do you have to lose but your misery!
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